Some Stuff About Bubbles (Part 1)

I like to blow bubbles while standing just around a corner. This way, they will float around the corner, out of my view. It's not that I don't want to see the bubbles, it's just that I want other people to see them. And not see me.
I like to hear little kids shriek and older people laugh. I like to see small children run around my corner after the bubbles and find me with my bubble wand... it makes me feel like the Wizard of Oz when the curtain is opened on him. Like a secret creator of happiness.

Jump!

What would happen if every single (able) person on earth jumped at the exact same time? Would the earth move upon landing? Would it create earthquakes? Would it topple buildings?

What if just all of New York City jumped? Would it affect anything at all? Would floors of apartments come crashing down from the impact? Would it cause cars to swerve? Would people in New Jersey feel it?

But even if nothing happened physically, what a sight that would be! Imagine, a single moment in time when every single person on the planet would be suspended in midair.

I remember a year or two ago, there was a Facebook event that attempted to get everyone in New York City to flush their toilet at midnight on a specific date. Of course, it was bound to fail due to the fact that not all New Yorkers would receive the message and that a good number of those invited would decline or simply forget to flush (like I did...).

But it was still exciting.

The idea was exciting.

No one knew for sure what would happen because it had never really been done before. Could New York's sewage system handle it? Would the city flood? Would some toilets fail to flush as a result?

We'll probably never find out what would happen.

But I do hope that someday, maybe in my lifetime, the whole world will work in unison. The actual task wouldn't even matter because even if it was as simple as jumping, it would be undeniably amazing.

The Bathroom

If I had to make a home out of any single room in a house, it would have to be the bathroom. The bathroom is the single most useful room in the house and I think that it's secretly everyone's favorite...
Look, if you simply purchase a mini fridge/freezer and a hot plate, you're totally set. You've got running water from not one, but two (or sometimes three) sources and you've got electricity.
Now ideally if I had to set up residence in a bathroom, I'd like to have a bathroom that has a shower and a bathtub separately (and a Jacuzzi, but it's not entirely necessary... but it would be pretty sweet.). This way I could reserve the shower for all bathing purposes and keep the tub set up as a bed.
If you've ever passed out in a bathtub or just slept in one because you thought it would be fun, you probably know that it's really not the most comfortable experience.
But I've got it covered.
Just pimp that tub out! All you have to do is stack foam mats (Tempur-pedic, waddup!) up in the tub to fill it in or use pillows or whatever you want. Personally, I'd probably try to get a small waterbed mattress to fill the tub with just to be ironic.
Note: This would probably be an issue for taller people because they might not fit into the tub comfortably, but we're talking about me and I'm small so it works out.
Then I'd just get a power strip plugged in and I'd be able to hook up my snow cone maker, my bubble machine, and a sick sound system (because the bathroom is the best place to jam out).
So the bathroom has living potential, but why not the kitchen or the bedroom? Well, that's simple... the bathroom is simply more awesome.
Think about it-- where do you do the best thinking? Where does your singing sound the best? Where can you read in peace? Where can you doing anything in peace? Where can you relax in a mass of bubble bath by candlelight? Where does the lighting bring out your natural glow? Where do you feel the freshest?
The bathroom.
In short, the bathroom is a wonderful place. It's clean and bright and it can make you feel like you're living in a Roman palace... or bath house.
Really, I can't think of a better room to live in. There would be no waiting to pee and no yelling at someone else to get out of the shower. It's always a comfortable temperature and it's never too noisy or too quiet.
Also, no one would ever question your personal hygiene.

Solitaire

Irma let me into her room to play solitaire. As I entered, Agnes was already being kicked out. She motioned to a corner and I sat down with a lonely deck of cards, as she assumed the opposite corner. We sat there playing by ourselves for about an hour. I kept on looking up at her and watching that look of intense concentration on her face. Game after game went by. Not once did she look up from her cards and not once did she acknowledge me. Yet somehow I felt as if she was silently appreciative of my presence. I guess solitude requires good company.

A Word Of Wisdom (August 2, 2010)

It would be tragic if humans had been given the same brains but no opposable thumbs.

Irma (my fictional senior acquaintance)

Irma is probably the most unsympathetic, unenthusiastic, unsupportive person I've ever met. The best way to describe her is by thinking of words that start with un and you will probably have an accurate adjective every time... except for understanding. Simply put, she's just uncooperative, like the prefix itself.
She acts unhappy and underwhelmed all the time. She is unimpressed with everyone and everything and if the world does indeed end in 2012 (and if she makes it to 2012), she will most likely be found sitting on the same old bench outside of the home watching meteors hurtle towards the earth, screaming something like "You call this an apocalypse?" and then fading into angry muttering about something back in her day...

The Guy on 103rd and Central Park West

I've been thinking about homeless people lately. Maybe it's because once it gets hotter in New York, they start to hang around more outside. I think one thing that every New Yorker has in common is that they all have their neighborhood street people. They might not be homeless, but they hang around all day, every day. Sometimes there's more than one. Sometimes they come and go for periods of time. Sometimes you spot them far away from your neighborhood and it just feels wrong, even though you feel bad for feeling that way.
There's one man who is always on the corner of 103rd and Central Park West, right by the subway station. He's out there every single morning and most every night, just saying good morning to everyone and hoping for some change. He's on that corner almost year-round too. I've walked up Central Park West many a very late night and seen him just standing there in between crosswalks waiting. For what? I have no clue. Whoever's going into the subway that late probably can't afford to give him any money anyway.
He never hassles you or begs. He actually seems like he would be a pretty ncie guy, but I never talk to him beyond a "hello" or a "good morning" because time has taught me that I should just keep on walking. Maybe someday I'll stop and spend a minute or two.
He recently obtained a bicycle. Nothing too fancy or too shabby-- just your usual bike. The first time I saw it, he was biking just ahead of me on my side of the street, heading downtown. I saw him riding and I just smiled for a couple of blocks, caught up in the hilarity of the idea that he would have a bike. Thinking about it now, I don't really know why it was so funny, but it was. I guess it's that he doesn't really go anywhere that far away. For a second I thought he was headed to a distant location far downtown, beyond the subway station. But when I finally caught up to him, where had he stopped? At 103rd street, with his bike propped against a trash can.
I wonder if the bike was donated or if he actually bought it with his own money. I kind of hope that he bought it himself. I'm not sure if he's really "homeless" either. Where does he go when he's not on the corner? Where does he live? Where did he live?
What is his name?