Thursday, May 27, 2010

Silly Bandz ban and those rubbery yo-yo things...


Hahaha! Actually, it's kind of sad that they're banning Silly Bandz in schools, but it still bothers me when kids wear a shitload of them on their wrists...

I remember when I was in elementary school, there was this toy that came out and everybody had one or wanted to have one desperately. It was kind of like a rubbery yo-yo except that on the end was a rubbery ball filled with this shiny oily stuff and you could squeeze the ball to make the shiny stuff swirl around (trust me, it was pretty awesome). The ball was attached to a rubber rope so you could swing it around and bounce it up and down in the air.

Here's a picture of them --->

It was soon discovered that the shiny oily stuff had some chemical in it that caused irritations when it came into contact with skin. In other words, some stupid kid had tried really hard to pop the rubber ball (which was very hard to do by just swinging it around) with a pen or a knife or some other sharp object, and the oily stuff got all over their hands and they got a rash from it.

All of a sudden, what was once a harmless toy was now a menace to society. Not only was the oily stuff a health concern, but suddenly the rubber rope held the potential to strangle children when swung. And as if that wasn't enough, it was suddenly discovered that they could distract kids in school.

So of course, schools banned the toys and all of us were devastated. I remember I had one of them and then lost it right after the ban. I asked my dad if I could get another one to replace it, and he refused to buy me one because of the "health hazards" that other parents had told him about.

So I never got another one, and soon it didn't even matter because parents and teachers were confiscating them left and right so no one had them after a while.

And I think that this is very sad. The mistake of one stupid kid caused the happiness of thousands of kids all over the country to be snatched away. Granted, it was bound to happen sooner or later, but it's still sad.

But the ban on Silly Bandz is different. It's even more unfair because they're not actually a health hazard, but I don't really care. Because I've been wearing them for three years now and seeing them crammed, twenty on each wrist, just bothers me.




Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Poem From A Poem (a poem)

Hi there.
Hello.
I am a poem
and you are a human being.
I have a font
and you have a brain.
I am made of ink on paper
and you of DNA.
In fact, I am quite simple
comparatively.
So why do you keep looking for something more?
There's really nothing extraordinary to explore.
I'm not hiding anything- this I insist!
Yet so-called brainiacs still persist-
continuing to delve in between my lines,
trying to expand their overused minds
until they come up with something smart
and credit themselves as experts on the art.
But here's the secret that puts everything in its place:
What you'll find in between the lines
is.

simply.

blank.

space.

You see,
maybe my author just thought it would be fun
to write a poem from the perspective of one.
And maybe what she was trying to point out
is that people who claim to have figured this out
don't really know what they're talking about.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Balloon

Balloons make me happy.
They're simply wonderful
until they escape.
It always makes me sad to see lonely balloons
floating up up and away.
It's funny and tragic
because they're flying to freedom
yet some child is losing happiness
and eventually they'll just pop up there
in the thinner atmosphere
but I suppose they don't know any better...

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Anagram Bot Conversation #2

sternest: Hey there, stranger!
marguerite: fancy meeting you here!
sternest: The fiery, young menace.
marguerite: I've had a trouble past, but I'm past that now
sternest: Dubitative, sharp bold amputates. Hot want.
marguerite: i have a hot want for you ;)
sternest: What-ho! Ya! On favourite.
marguerite: don't call me a ho!
sternest: Hot, modal clean.
marguerite: well as long as you think i'm hot...
sternest: Gawkishly unemotional sloth.
marguerite: sloths have feelings too
sternest: The self-love as soothing.
marguerite: don't self-love yourself too much there buddy
sternest: Unlovely defectors smooth foul. Three buddy.
marguerite: well three buddies isn't self-loving anymore...
sternest: Wild-eyed, moth-eaten blurriness. Flog snivel.
marguerite: you should purchase some moth balls
sternest: Humorously hated up smooches. Balls.
marguerite: hahahahaha
sternest: Ha Ha! Ha Ha! Ha.
marguerite: ho ho ho!
sternest: Let me get back to you on that.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A Quick Comment About Those Animal Rubber Band Things

A quick comment about those animal rubber band things:
I've been wearing them on my wrist for three years now.
Yes, three years.
I found a box of them in my room while cleaning and I thought they were kind of cool.
I've worn orange kangaroos, yellow giraffes, blue elephants, green rhinos, and pink hippos.
I wear them two at a time so that the colors can complement each other...
and so that they don't feel lonely...
Sometimes when I'm bored I take them off my wrist and play with them during class.
Sometimes I trace their shapes into my notebook with a pen.
They tend to impress intoxicated people,
but when I show them to little kids they don't get quite as excited.
Recently everyone has started to wear them.
Now they come in weird shapes like hammers and guitars.
I guess they reflect everyone's interests...
which is fine and dandy.
But I don't like it.
You see, I've been wearing these animal rubber band things for three years now.
Before anyone else knew what they were.
At a time when you could only buy them in Chinese stationary stores.
I don't want to stop wearing them because they're special to me,
but I feel that when people see them on my wrist they think that I'm trying to be trendy.
And I'm not.
So whenever anyone asks what kind of rubber band things I have on my wrist,
I show them my blue elephant and my yellow giraffe.
I say, "The yellow one's a giraffe.
I know, it's hard to tell sometimes because it looks fat now
because it got stretched out
because I've been wearing it for about a year.
Before everyone started doing it."
I've been wearing those animal rubber band things for three years, dammit!
I set the trend.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Gum Spots (a poem)

Gum Spots

As I was walking down the street
my mind was drawn to something neat.
A blackened spot upon the ground,
discreet and flat and perfectly round.
A gum spot surrounded by millions more
that once had colors and flavors galore!
And once upon a time they were spat on down,
to lay on the constantly overlooked ground
to be stepped on by sneakers,
worn by momentarily profane speakers...

But this one spot caused me to wonder to myself,
what pack that piece came from right off of the shelf.
Was it fruity or minty or a fiery cinnamon?
And what caused this person to spit out their gum?
Had it just lost its flavor or was it a hurried release,
to be replaced by fries or a quarter pound of beef?
And how many people must've spat a piece out,
to create enough spots to polka dot the ground?
And how much time will have lapsed
when the days of pavement will have passed
and the ground will just be a rubbery layer
which when jumped upon, will spring us into the air?